Introduction – Tell us a little about yourself.
I have been married to my husband, Jason, for 29 years and have two young adult children. I gave my life to Christ at the age of 14 and have sought to know Him personally over these past 36 years. I am curious about many things and process life through writing. During Covid, I wrote and self-published my first prayer resource called, Consider: Reflecting on the Words of Scripture. I am currently working on a devotional series about grace. When I am not writing or studying Scripture, I enjoy mentoring young women, walking, reading, and hunting for vintage treasures at estate sales and flea markets. I opened Simple Sparrow Co in a local vintage market in 2022 and have fun curating my small shop with timeless cottage-style décor.
Share about a hard season you have walked in your life.
The past few years of my life have proven to be emotionally draining as my husband and I have watched our kids create their own lives apart from us. While this is natural and good, it has been much harder than I dreamed it to be. We hear about how fast time goes when our kids are little, but nothing fully prepares us for this reality. I spent most of my time educating our kids, so they were home with me more than most. I have been used to noise, laughter, friends, messes, and music filling the house for over two decades. I loved it. It was quite the adjustment when my son moved out and then married, but it wasn’t until my daughter moved out that the silence overwhelmed me. Big life shifts are hard even when life is full of new and exciting things.
I cheer them on in their new independence and love spending more one-on-one time with my husband, but the changes to my daily rhythms and routines have brought unexpected grief. Waves of loneliness occasionally barge in that only God can and has filled.
This season has been extra hard as I have longed to talk to my mom who passed away at the age of 69 a few years ago. As she had four kids, I know she would be able to offer some comfort and advice in this unchartered space I’m in. She would listen, and I would feel seen and understood.
What did God show you during this season?
God is showing me that my purpose in this season is the same as it has always been – to love Him with all my heart, soul, and mind, and to love others as He loves me. He has taught me to find my fulfillment and joy in His presence. There has been a new level of dependence on Christ to embrace the quietness within.
God is also teaching me how to embrace the tension that new seasons bring. There is always a degree of sadness when sweet moments end. It is a process to lean into Christ as we miss those precious times. He is gracious and kind to us, so we should be gracious to ourselves as well. There is also great joy and excitement about what these challenges will bring. I will always be a mom, but my identity is higher than that – I am chosen, adopted, loved, and an heir to the kingdom of God.
How did God provide protective care during this season?
During this empty-nest season, I have seen God open ministry doors to mentor young women I didn’t have time for previously. He has allowed me to walk this journey simultaneously with a sister that lives nearby. We pray, weep, laugh, and have adventures together with our husbands. I also consider it God’s sweet grace to attend the same church as my adult children for now. I get to have a front-row seat to how God uses them to serve others through worship and often enjoy a Sunday lunch together. Knowing Christ keeps our sadness from growing bitter roots as we rest in His sovereign care of our lives.
What scripture(s) encouraged you during this season?
Hebrews 4:14-16 “Since then we have a great high priest who has passed through the heavens, Jesus, the Son of God, let us hold fast our confession. For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.”
Ecclesiastes 3:1-2 ESV “For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven: a time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted…”
What encouragement do you have for others that may be walking through this season?
Life will bring seasons of change. That we can count on. But we can also count on the faithfulness of a holy God to sustain us through. When we derive our worth and purpose from Christ from the beginning, we can shift our roles to fulfill them wherever God has us.
When we find ourselves wrestling through their absence, we can establish new patterns of joy. For me, I use my house to host small groups, family gatherings, etc. I fill our home with praise music, create craft messes of my own, find new uses for empty spaces, and pray about how to invest my time to love and encourage others. Children always need our love and support, so keep looking for ways to serve them in the season they are in while respecting their space to grow.
We can grieve. Jesus knows that change is hard. We can give ourselves space for that. There is also joy in the new seasons because Christ is our joy. He never leaves nor forsakes. He is the one sure thing. That keeps us moving forward by faith.
Are there any books or resources that were helpful during this season?
When I am going through any kind of struggle, I love to read slowly through the book of Philippians to remind myself where true joy is found. It shifts my focus toward hope as I walk through the hard.
I recently read Mary DeMuth’s book, Love, Pray, Listen: Parenting Your Wayward Adult Kids with Joy. You do not have to have “wayward” kids that have abandoned their faith to learn from this book. Young adults will make choices different from their parents, and this helps us to navigate that tension with the love and grace of Christ. It is full of practical wisdom on applying the truths of love as seen in 1 Corinthians 13. It led me to see my kids through God’s eyes, not mine.
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