Romans 8:15 The Spirit you received does not make you slaves, so that you live in fear again; rather, the Spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship. And by him we cry, “Abba, Father.”
Fear is given to us to make us aware of danger or harm, but there are the more common moments of experiencing fear that we create for ourselves. It can be deep, dark, and debilitating. It can consume us and overtake at any given moment. Fear can be strong and overpowering and if we do not appropriately guard our hearts against such fear, it can rob us of the freedom Christ died to give us making us slaves to it.
It has been almost a year since we have overcome a major family crisis and celebrated the restoration of our marriage. There were several months we all had to adjust to reunification, walk through daily grace and forgiveness, and be exposed to selfish patterns that had taken root in our hearts. After the first of this year, for about six weeks, I was basking in the joy of a peaceful home and happy marriage. Then, without warning, fear overshadowed my heart like never before.
It was so confusing! We were no longer in crisis. The hard part was over. Healing and health were budding its fruits. Where was this fear coming from?
Fear can take many forms. Here are some examples of what I was feeling: anxious, worried, nervous, insecure, intimidated, overwhelmed, frantic, flustered, and mistrustful. There are several emotions and words we may use to express how we feel, but the root of them all is fear. It felt like I had fallen into a pit of quicksand and the harder I tried to climb my way out of the mental black hole, the more it sucked me in with a fresh horror of “what if”.
What I have learned over the last several years was how our bodies are designed to respond to fear. As mentioned earlier, fear is given to us to make us aware of danger or harm so our bodies respond to fear to protect us. It is rare that we will find ourselves in the woods forging for food and happening upon a bear that threatens our life. However, we will experience more common fears of this life, like triggers from past traumas, anxiety, insecurity, or mistrust. When those fears set in, our bodies will respond the same as if a bear is about to eat us for lunch. The four most common responses to fear are fight, flight, freeze, and fawn.
The basics of these responses are common knowledge, but we can allow them to manifest within us in different ways. Fight can look like taking control, acting out, going into fix it mode, or broadcasting your problems to anyone who will listen. Flight can manifest as avoidance, distracting yourself, withdrawing, and denial (hello hours of mindless scrolling). Freezing can look like shutting down, ignoring, or isolating. And my most recent discovery is fawning, and it can look like people pleasing, pacifying, minimizing, or rationalizing. Does any of this sound familiar? I must admit, I have recognized a combination of these in how I respond to fear at any given moment.
Even knowing all this, when fear hit me earlier this year, I was still struggling to pull myself out of the quicksand. I was finally in a good place and the enemy used fear to distract me from admiring and enjoying the good that God had done in our lives. It took days of intentional time in God’s Word, prayer, and worshipping for the cloud to clear. However, God used that time to grow my faith and pull me closer to Him. It was so impactful that I knew I would have to share it. I took the time during Lent to study and journal my experience of what God showed me as I battled this fear, and I am so grateful I can share it with you over the next several weeks. Together we will look at Luke Chapter Eight and see how Jesus conquered our fears of storms, evil, sickness, and death.
If fear is something you have also faced and battled, I pray this series encourages you that you are not alone. No matter where we are in our faith journey or the season of life we are walking through, we all experience fear, worry, and insecurity. But the good news is that we have the Holy Spirit to walk us through with bold confidence that is not of our own strength. He never leaves or abandons His children. He is the Great Shepherd that walks with us through the valley.
I used a journaling exercise my counselor gave me several years ago that helped me fight the overwhelming fear I faced. This exercise has helped me so many times before and I want to share it in hopes it can help and encourage you. Write down all your fears, worries, and insecurities, then let the Holy Spirit guide you through His word to reveal the Truth. Use the search feature in your Bible app or topical concordance in the back of your Bible to help you search for verses that relate to your fear.
Here are some of my personal examples:
Fear vs. Truth
- Abandonment and loneliness – I am never alone, God is my comfort and friend (Deuteronomy 31:6-8, Psalm 23:4)
- Loss of control – God is in control, not me (Isaiah 55:8-9, Hebrews 11)
- Things not going my way – God is faithful and trustworthy (Jeremiah 29:11-13, Philippians 4:6-9, 2 Corinthians 4:18)
- Pain and suffering – suffering is temporary, and Jesus is my sympathetic High Priest (James 1:2-5, Romans 5:3-5, Hebrews 4:14-16)
- Loss of approval & acceptance by others – His approval and acceptance is enough (Hebrews 13:6, Philippians 3:20-21)