August 2022 – Welcome

When I Am Weak

2 Corinthians 12:9-10
But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

Recently, my sister gave me a coffee mug that says, “the struggle is real but so is our God.” I believe she gave it to me partly as a joke (because I mean, it is pretty corny), but also as a reminder. I had a really hard time adjusting to motherhood. This is something that was difficult for me to admit to others and myself. After our first son was born, I quickly realized that I was in over my head. He didn’t sleep through the night until he was over three, nursing controlled my life to the point it became unhealthy for both of us, and I couldn’t keep up with working a highly stressful job and coming home to a colicky baby. It wasn’t long before full-blown panic disorder set in.

Anxiety was something always looming silently in me. Looking back, I see moments in my life when anxiety and panic overtook me, but I didn’t have the language or understanding of what it was. I had my first panic attack in third grade. I was still walking to class when the tardy bell rang. I started hyperventilating, became nauseated, started seeing spots, and ultimately crying in front of everyone. Knowing what I know now, it wasn’t being tardy that caused the panic attack. (Although this is still an inherited pet peeve.) We had just moved to a new state, new school, new church…I was the new girl. I was overwhelmed and in over my head.

There were other moments in my life when this would happen again (starting college, graduating college, getting married). Stress, worry, and anxiety would take over in a physical way. However, in my mind, these unhealthy feelings were always justified due to major life changes. But then, when I became a mother, the anxiousness and feelings of stress and worry didn’t go away. They became worse.

I look back on that first year of our son’s life with a lot of mixed emotions. I wish so badly I could have handled it better. I am so grateful for a supportive husband who loved me through it, medication to help heal my body, and a fabulous Christian counselor who helped me heal emotionally and spiritually. As hard as it was to go through that time, God revealed a HUGE lesson that my type-A, control freak little self would need for the road ahead. He had to level me and strip me to my weakest, most vulnerable place to teach me who He is. I was able to have a firsthand encounter with the Creator of the universe, an Almighty Father who holds all things in the palm of His hand. For the first time in my life, I literally couldn’t do what it took to keep going and there was another human depending on me to survive. I had to be put flat on my back to look up for the Helper.

I know this sounds dramatic and maybe even a little harsh. However, walking through these moments was anything but. Our Father was so kind and gentle in the way He revealed Himself to me. Just like any loving parent would, He gently scooped me up, carried me, and whispered in my ear, “Just let Me do it. I’ve got you. You don’t have to struggle like this anymore.” And He forever changed me. I experienced His mighty power firsthand. The same God who spoke the planets into being, who parted the Red Sea, who raised Jesus from the grave, picked me up and asked me to let Him have the control panel.

Having panic disorder is something I still struggle with but just like my coffee cup reminds me, I have a great and strong Father that carries me. All I must do is let Him. We all have areas in which we struggle. Our details and life experiences may be different, but our God is steady. He is the same God that walked me through panic disorder as I adjusted to motherhood, the same God that walks with the woman who recently lost her husband, and the same God that walks with the woman trying so desperately to let go of that addiction. Even when our struggle is real, so is our God.

The Beauty of Giving Up Your Dreams

Proverbs 3:5-6 
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.

“If you want to make God laugh, tell Him your plans.” My ReRe is a very wise woman. This is something she has told me for years and on Sunday, July 11, 2021, these words penetrated like never before. I am a planner. I have a plan for the day, a meal plan for the week, a budget for the month, and yearly goals. I make lists. I like to cross things off my list. If something unexpected comes up for me to do, I add it to my list so I can cross it off. I truly believe that God gave me these skills and created me this way for a reason, but He is teaching me that it should be used for His glory and not my own.

My husband, Matt, and I had a three-year plan. A plan to get in the healthiest financial position possible so that when our youngest started kindergarten we could sell our starter home and upsize. It was a good plan. One that made a lot of sense and seemed financially responsible, allowing us to be good stewards of what God has entrusted us with. We truly had a desire to honor and please God with our plans. But the problem was, they were our plans. Not His.

That Sunday morning on July 11, God spoke to me. He asked me to entrust him with my plans, my future, my hopes, and my dreams. He gently whispered this to me, and I knew what He meant. He wanted me to put aside my plan and fully surrender. Sell the house. And here is the thing, that is all He said! I knew he spoke to me to sell our house, but we had nowhere to go.

Usually when He calls us, it requires a lot of faith. Following Him into the great unknown so to speak. As you read the New Testament, many times Jesus asks his followers to do things that don’t make sense, often giving them simple directions with few instructions. Jesus turning water into wine (John 2:7-10), Jesus calling his disciples to fish for men (Luke 5:4-11), and Jesus feeding a crowd (Luke 9:12-17). There are so many more examples of Jesus asking us to do the impossible or the illogical. He rarely tells us how it will end or where it will lead. He just wants our full obedience.

What He showed me that day is when I am so focused and clinging so tightly to my own plan, I’m not truly seeking His will. How can he move and work when I am leading my own way? Is it scary? Yes! But I know Him, and I trust Him. He has shown His faithfulness to me in amazing ways over the years. He has always provided for my needs and shown that He wants good things for me. As He has been consistently pursuing and drawing me near, He has revealed His heart to me and shown me how truly trustworthy He is.

So, we decided that day to set aside our own plan and follow His. After a full year, we still don’t know where it is leading us. He is faithfully revealing one step at a time. But what we do know, is that His way is higher and deeper. He sees things we don’t and wants good things for His children. He is worthy of our full and our full trust. Lay your plans at His feet and let Him open your heart to the future He has in store for you. His ways are so much greater than what we have planned for ourselves.

Storms

Psalm 107:29-31 “He stilled the storm to a whisper; the waves of the sea were hushed. They were glad when it grew calm, and he guided them to their desired haven. Let them give thanks to the Lord for his unfailing love and his wonderful deeds for mankind.”

Things have been chaotic for our family for a while now. We are in a strange and weird season of living “in between,” waiting for our next home. My husband and I are both planners and are struggling with the lack of direction in our life. As we are surrendering our full future and trusting God for what He has in store, we have been bombarded with one unexpected event after another. Cars breaking down, illnesses, a hard season in our marriage, calls to change careers; all these events feel like pop-up thunderstorms on a lovely, sunny summer day. We know in our hearts that there is a greater plan, a purpose in the waiting and the uncertain future, but there are days we look at each other and just want a break. A chance to catch our breaths.

One of my favorite stories from the New Testament is when Jesus and the disciples were on a boat. Jesus was napping (I want to be more like Jesus) and a squall came up and literally started rocking the boat. The disciples were terrified and preparing to meet death through drowning as they woke Jesus. I always imagined Jesus just calmly waking up, yawning, and stretching, then standing up and quieting the storm. Just like that, “Be still”, and it was over (Luke 8: 22-25). The sun comes out and Jesus goes back to his nap.

In Psalm 107, David recounts how God redeems his children from hunger and thirst, utter darkness and chains, rebellion and affliction, and from disaster and danger. David tells of God’s faithfulness regardless of our circumstances. These circumstances could be from simply living in a sinful world or from the results of our own sin, but regardless there is healing, love, protection, and redemption available in His love for us.

Here, the disciples were running around hopeless and about to drown and all they had to do was call out to Jesus. How often do we do this? I run around trying to outrun these pop-up storms in my life. It’s like playing a demented game of wack-a-mole. When all I must do is call on the One who holds the world in His hands, whose name calms the seas and makes the demons flee, quivering in fear. Why are things so hard sometimes? Because I’m not meant to handle them on my own. I’m merely human; full of limitations and sin. But I have the privilege to go to my Heavenly Father and give it all to Him. Today, I will rest in that and encourage you to do the same

Whenever the storms arise, we can call on the Creator Himself and seek refuge in His wings (Psalm 57:1). When life circumstances feel like raging squalls capable of drowning us, remember His faithfulness, His promise for protection. His desire to carry us through. Remember that he will calm the storm for us, just like he did for his disciples. Let’s always remember to praise Him for His wonderful deeds in the calm, in the storm, and every chance in between.

The God of All Seasons

John 12:24 
Very truly I tell you, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds.

Our God is the God of seasons. All the seasons. Throughout the Bible, we see so many images and descriptions of who God is and the work He does in nature. When I think of nature and seasons, I think of beauty. Flowers, flowing rivers, peacefulness, and cute little animals. Rarely does one think fondly of Winter. Sure, there are beautiful images of Winter, especially in the Christmas season of snow and the magical white, winter wonder lands, but that’s more of an image we prefer in a picture. And for those of us in the Deep South, a picture of snow is typically the only way we experience the beauty of that season.

In reality, Winter is dark, bleak, cold, lonely, and oftentimes a longing for the next season. Some may say it is their least favorite season. A season of struggle. One that we just want to bundle up and endure until a glimpse of Spring is in the air. But our God is the God of Winter. He created it just like He created Spring, Summer, and Autumn. It serves as much of a purpose as the other seasons.