Psalm 139:14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.
“Do I really believe that?” was the immediate thought when I saw this verse twice, randomly on the same day. Talk about a revelation! The first time was on the floorboard of my car. The verse was typed on a crumpled-up piece of paper that didn’t make it further than the seven-year-old hands that dropped the paper after church one Wednesday night. The second time was in yoga class that evening. At the Christian yoga studio I go to, the yoga instructor has verses on the ceiling so you can meditate on them while in savasana. I laid there in the dark pouring sweat (because hot yoga) and heard that same thought pop into my mind from earlier that day.
Immediately my spirit was convicted (yes, it took the second time for it to be convicted). That means I doubted the Word of God! I sat in silence and let that sink in. Why don’t I believe that verse? Because I am unhappy with myself? Probably. We can be so hard on ourselves. We are our own worst critics. I was coming out of a season of crisis in my marriage. I had gained 15 pounds, on top of the 10 pounds I meant to lose last summer, and I was so mad at myself over it. My clothes didn’t fit, I hated looking at pictures of myself, and age was starting to show in the mirror for the first time.
I felt gross and I didn’t feel like praising God for how He made my body. My weight has been a struggle since 5th grade but even at my smallest and healthiest, I’ve never been thankful for my body or the way God made me, much less praised Him for it. But as a follower of Christ, I believe His Word is true and the authoritative word in which I should live my life. So, if that is the case, I can’t pick and choose what verses I believe.
That is true for all of us. In Psalm 139, David talks about being fully known and seen by God and Him delighting and loving us unconditionally despite all that He sees and knows about us. There is nowhere we can go to escape or hide from Him. He created our every detail in the intimate setting of the womb.
Imagine spending precious time creating something for someone. A painting, building something, or cooking a meal and when you present it to them, they make a face of disgust and say,” Ugh, I hate it!” Is this what I’m doing to the heart of God when I think negatively about myself? I hate my nose, my hair, my freckles, my (insert whatever you’ve always hated about yourself here). We all have that something.
So today, I’m going to choose to praise God for the way He made me. I’m not going to let the one area of insecurity and that lie from Satan make me believe God’s Word for me is not true. Just like we can all pick out the thing we hate most about ourselves, we can also decide to find rest and peace in knowing that He made us, handcrafted us, delights in us, and loves us with a deep and unconditional love our minds cannot fully understand. Every verse of His is true and for us. Even the verse stating that we are fearfully and wonderfully made.