Hebrews 10:24-25 And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.
Christian community. These words can bring a mix of emotions. The concept can bring a smile and thoughts of warmth and gratitude, but it can also trigger feelings of hurt and disappointment. After all, a community, even a Christian one, is made up of fallible humans. Christian community can be both the sweetest and most precious gift we receive, but also a source of deep, painful wounding. How do we navigate this?
First, let’s look at the importance of Christian community. We were designed for community. We serve a triune God that He Himself embodies as the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. As His image bearers, we are created to live and thrive in community with others. From the beginning and before sin entered the world, God saw that it was not good for man to be alone (Genesis 2:18). Community brings companionship, accountability, support, and encouragement.
The wise King Solomon spoke about the importance of community in Ecclesiastes.
“Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up. Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken” (Ecclesiastes 4:9-12).
We may be able to survive and manage on our own for a short period of time, but having community is better. It allows us to flourish and experience a richness of life we would not experience alone.
Jesus modeled this for us in His life on Earth. During His ministry, He had an intimate group of friends that walked with Him in His daily life and ministry. This circle of people included His twelve apostles and a few close followers that helped carry the burden of ministry by aiding in the provision of His physical needs, protecting Him when crowds of people swarmed Him, and helping coordinate the simple logistics of travel. This was not done because of motivation to further their careers (many left their careers behind) or to gain social standing (following Jesus made them social outcasts). Rather, it was done out of love and a desire to be with Jesus.
When Jesus called each of His apostles and close followers, He knew their hearts and the future role they would play in the establishment of the Church after His ascension. Jesus’ hand-selected His people and we can do the same. We must surround ourselves with those that are like-minded and those that will spur us along in our faith. As we walk the narrow road of faith, we must keep in mind that it is not the quantity but quality of our friendships and community. We must check our own motives as to what is drawing us into a certain group. Is it rooted in Christian love or motivated by popularity or self-promotion?
Just as Jesus modeled and experienced the benefits of Christian community, He also suffered the deep pain of betrayal and rejection from His closest friends. It was Judas, one of His chosen twelve that sold Jesus out to the religious leaders for the meager price of a slave (Luke 22:3-6). After His arrest, the other eleven fled (Mark 14:50) while Peter denied knowing Jesus three times in public (John 18:15-18; 25-27). Here is the thing, Jesus knew all of this before He even chose these men, yet He still chose them anyway. Why? Because He knew they were human, He trusted the Father’s will, and He was the very source of the forgiveness they would need.
Yes, Christian community comes with risks, but we can’t let that stop us from experiencing the benefits of being part of something God designed to ultimately be for our good. In the healing of pain and hurt, we can gain a deeper understanding of God’s grace, mercy, and forgiveness.
If you have been hurt by Christian community, seek healing and forgiveness. What can you learn and grow from the experience? Are there friendships you need to step away from in order to have a healthier community? Do you need to pray that God will bring strong, healthy people into your life? Is bitterness, resentment, and unforgiveness holding you back from trusting the people God has given you?
This is not easy or simple, the Christian life rarely is, but it is worth the work and effort. Though there are some relationships we cannot escape (like family or coworkers) we can choose our inner circle and the people we let into the intimate parts of our lives. We need to be part of a small group of believers that are deliberately in God’s word together and encouraging each other in discipleship. If this is not something you have, ask God to guide you to the people or group you need to be a part of.
It can be the Christian community God has given us that allows us to walk in the providential care of God. It can be from Christian community that we receive an encouraging text, intercessory prayer, a simple meal brought during illness, and like-minded companionship when we feel alone in this evil world. God created us to benefit and grow from being a part of Christian community. I pray that each of us are able to find these precious friends while being a friend to others.
If you need healing in the area of community and friendships, here are some resources that have helped me, and that I recommend to you:
- A licensed, Christian counselor – directly contact me for local recommendations.
- Good Boundaries and Goodbyes by Lisa TerKeurst
- 1 Corinthians 13 – read through this chapter in the Bible. Do you love like this? Do people in your Christian community love like this? If not, pray over how that can change.
Prayer “Father, you gave us community with which we can share life. Jesus, our perfect example, surrounded himself with community and trusted friends. Thank you for the trusted friends you have given me OR I ask that you fill my need for trusted, loving, and encouraging community. Protect me from those that will harm me, take advantage of me, or lead me away from You. Remind me to be a good friend to others and to always be willing to reach out to the lonely by being unconditionally inclusive.”